One of my RA triggers is (what I call) physical trauma. I noticed it for the first time when I was skiing with a bunch of friends. After a long day on the mountain, I took my ski boots off only to notice that some of my toes were red, hot, and swollen from my slightly too small boots. This led to a 6-week flare. 9 months later and I still had occasional redness and pain along with nerve damage.
The second time this happened was at my husband's 30th birthday party. I wore a pair of clogs that I've worn for the past 5 years. I was on my feet for about 4 hours and could feel an ache in my right foot towards the end of the night. It was really difficult to walk for the next three days. I've thrown out all my high heels and have succumb to wearing sneakers everywhere - even at work. Cole Haan has been a lifesaver! Their Nike soles with flattering style has given me a comfortable business casual shoe that I can dress up or down.
When my knees and feet first flared, I always thought, "I still have my hands. I can still type on my computer, work, do laundry, and cook". With time this has become increasingly more difficult. It's frustrating and demoralizing to not be able to text people back or only able to chop half an onion.
Everything I do has a lifelong consequence to my body. Before RA I would spend all day riding horses or in the kitchen cooking and not think twice about it. Now I think about the consequences every activity has on my body. I used to see a large staircase and think "this is great exercise". Now I ask "will I be able to walk tomorrow?".
This isn't only physically exhausting, but also mentally and emotionally. As humans, we naturally create habits and routines to decrease the number of decisions we make throughout the day. This gives us more energy to make larger, more challenging decisions, like how to handle a difficult situation at work. However, chronic illnesses require more decisions throughout the day. Can I go up these stairs and walk tomorrow? Will this food trigger a flare? Did I take my medication this morning? This requires more energy. Energy my body doesn't have.
